Okay, the guilt is back big time today. I had painted the living room and was getting ahead with my book reading for the next review I need to do, and the guilt has now hit me like a sack in the face.
We got our grades for the literature review is we did back and I got an A grade. I feel absolutely horrendous because it was one of only three in the class of 20 the got the top marks. And I cheated, all I did was order the book review online and then I edited it a bit and then handed in.
So I have succeeded through cheating and I feel so horrible today that I just want to drink, eat and hide and cry. That is horrible and it’s a horrible feeling. I’m not a bad person but things have been getting so bad recently emotionally that I am struggling quite a lot.
But I have to try and be positive and I’m hoping that writing in my blog here will help me to turn things around in my head. By confessing here and admitting things I’m hoping I can now draw a line under this and move on.
The next literature review I have to do will be completely my own work and I will not be tempted to cheat by ordering a literature review on the Internet. It will not happen and I intend to make sure I pass this course with my own work from now on.
On a brighter note, the living room is done and it looks absolutely great, and this weekend I’m going to move on to doing my bedroom, I think that might help, just cheering the place up and making things a little bit brighter could help my mood.
Right, back to the book reading and positivity. I feel horrendous but I’ve got to put its the back of my mind and move on, because the alternative is to sink and I don’t intend doing that today.