Things haven’t been great for me over the past couple of years. My mental health has not been great and my physical health has been deteriorating as well. It’s not being an amazing time for me and unfortunately it has spiralled downwards.
So this blog post is me drawing a line in the sand and sorting myself out. I’m going to start setting myself some proper goals on weight, diet and exercise. It’s got ridiculous how I am with my life and it’s time to turn things round for good.
I started my higher education course in English literature because I wanted to better myself, but if I’m dragging myself down emotionally all the time, and I’m physically unfit and getting fat, then I’m not going to benefit from that education because I’m not able to.
I’m also being dragged down a bit at the minute by the fact that I have been online to buy a literature review for the book I’m reading. That’s the confession I made in a previous blog post and I’m now confessing that I have bought a literature review. I’m really embarrassed about it but unfortunately I felt I had no option when I’m struggling so badly with it.
Book review writing should be bread-and-butter to me, but I’m in such an emotionally bad place at the minute, and struggling in all ways, that things are tough for me. I know that probably sounds silly to a lot of people but I think everybody’s mental health is very personal and unfortunately people with mental health problems can’t see that they have them, or they are in denial about them, or they don’t think they are as bad as they are, or they think they can control them. Unfortunately people looking in from the outside can see very different picture and can often see the car crash before it’s going to happen but you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped or cannot see.
And I’ve been in that position, and it’s only recently that I have started to open my eyes the problems I have. And that crushed me a bit, and I have struggled to concentrate on reading the book but I need to for my English course which has meant that I have had to get my book review written for me in order to stay on track for the course. If I didn’t do that I think I would be crushed even more.